


Sweet Night

by Scarletcloud12



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25717753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarletcloud12/pseuds/Scarletcloud12
Summary: “But ya don’t see very happy with me noticing” His low voice makes Sakusa more nervous “’S Ok, everyone has their shit to deal, right?” He looked at Kiyoomi in the eyes” Is alright”...." With the moon lighting his room in the cold night of winter, Sakusa Kiyoomi stayed up, wondering what were Atsumu Miya's intentions with him; if they  were  really honest, if he could really trust him at some point. He wondered why he has so happy knowing he got his number- in one way or another- He felt asleep wondering, why his chest felt so warm whenever his grin come into his mind".
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING(?) I skip a few details of the anime/manga to fit the story.  
> OOC(?) relationship between Sakusa and Komori & a little OOC people in here (I tried to portray them the best I could xd)  
> This is my first english fanfic so, be gentle uwu.  
> and, if you find any typing errors please let me know. It will help me both in my writing and my English in general :D
> 
> Enjoy!

About what is born out of prejudice.  
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At a young age, there was something Sakusa Kiyoomi was aware of. It was one simple thing: He didn´t care about what other people think about him. Comments about his height, weight, or his curly and dry hair didn't bother him at all. Even the insults of some kids of his neighborhood did not faze him; It was not different with flattery. He simply did not care about the words of others. Thanks to this thought-and the cold gaze that he devoted to everything that was  
insignificant to him-none of his classmates dare to talk to him since he was eight. They were scared of him, his indifferent comments and the lack of a smile upon his face. It didn’t bother Sakusa at that time; when you are a small kid, you don’t think of the consequences of your actions, you live every day without worries and hope for another day to do new things. If he had to do a school project alone, he would. He thought of his classmates as a bunch of irresponsible guys who like to see the job done (unfortunately, teachers always get him to join some group, at least most of the time).  
Now at his eleven years old, he regrets it. At some point, he told himself that making bonds and having a thousand friends to chat with-like the classic protagonist in some mangas he has been reading- would not be part of his daily basis. But he is almost a teenager and what he thought years ago doesn’t count. Now Sakusa has to face it: he doesn’t like to be near people. And he hates it. Kiyoomi doesn't remember when this started, but it certainly became a huge problem every time he went shopping with his mother. Clothe stores are full of people and nobody respects the distance. Will they be clean? that was something that bothered him not knowing.  
His mother notice that something is wrong with his son, but Kiyoomi doesn’t tell her. That would make her sad and that’s the last thing he want to do. She already had enough with work and the "polite" comments from the neighbors about "his lack of joy and energy for a boy his age."  
“You know I can’t keep secrets!” his cousin, Komori, yelled “I could barely keep in secret Rina’s crush!”  
“I told you before, she wants you to tell to her crush about it” he replied “she knows that you don’t know how to keep a secret. You are part of her plan, Komori.” His cousin was so naive.  
“So…are you gonna return the feeling?”  
And an idiot.  
“So, it was me” Sakusa wanted to die. That crafty girl does know how to play her cards. “That doesn’t matter now. I need you to keep this secret. I don’t want my mom to know until I fix it”. He said with the firmest voice he could put. His cousin was his only friend and, for better or worse, the only one he could trust this.  
“How do you know it can be fixed? Did you make research on your own again?” Being family relatives teached Komori something about Kiyoomi: He is obsessed with germs and diseases. Every time he catches a cold, he would study causes, symptoms and many ways to avoid getting sick again. That was one of the secrets he was obligated to keep.  
“Yes. It doesn’t have a cure actually but, I have a theory. If I start to having a real social life, the fear is going to disappear and hopefully, everything is going to be normal again”.  
“Okay? So, how do you plan to have a social life?” It was an obvious question. Sakusa’s social skill were zero. If it wasn’t for him, his por cousin would be alone in lunch break. He remembered the time a group of girls asked him politely to share the table with them in seventh grade. Two days of detention and writing five pages of “using insults toward people is disrespectful” was generous for what he told them.  
He wanted to laugh but he was scared of Kiyoomi.  
“I have a plan: School trip”. Sakusa was proud of his idea. A whole day surrounded by people, enjoying delicious food and proving to himself- and everyone- that he was like everybody else. The perfect occasion. “If I avoid the Ferris wheel, everything is going to be fine”. He felt proud of his idea.  
“That’s brilliant!” he screams again” if you can spend the day with your classmates without being disgusted, you are not a lost cause!” he spread his pinky “Count on me!”.  
Sakusa looked at his finger. Komori and pinky promise. It was his way of being serious about it.  
“Deal”.  
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The trip was a disaster from beginning to end. He sat next to Rina. Kiyomi had the feeling that "personal space" was not a word in her vocabulary, considering how close her face was to him the whole road. The bus didn't have seat belts and this “precious girl” took every chance she had to touch him. But that wasn’t the worst part of it: he was dragged into the Ferris wheel with her. Alone. His plan to avoid this game was dead.  
"Nothing is lost" he thought, trying to look as calm as possible "If I can have a normal conversation with her, I will show that I can be like others”.  
The game manager gave them some instructions before closing the door. Once everyone was ready, the wheel started to move. The daylight allowed them to see the landscape through the windows of the cabin. People looked smaller from above and everything seems to look distance. You could see the pink carrousel on the right side of the park; to the left was the Russian mountain- which Kiyoomi decided to also avoid-. What caught Sakusa's attention was the castle at the end of the park. It was famous for the number of lights that decorated it, although unfortunately, by the time the school trip is over, they could not see it. Kiyoomi didn't wanted to admitted it but, he was excited, knowing he has a small chance to explore it. When he was nine, his group class went to an amusement park to, but he got sick and lost the chance. Komori brought him a present but it was not the same. Outside, it looked just like the castle of the story his mother used to tell him before going to sleep. He didn't believe in fairytales or princess waiting for a prince to rescue them but, every time his mother reached the part of the castle description, the story was about to reach an exciting point. The brave warrior was going to fight the invincible dragon. Just like him, fighting on his own against his fears.

“Do you like this game, Sakusa-kun?” she asked.

She was so quiet all this time that Kiyoomi almost forgot about her “W-well, is definitely not my favorite!” Rina caught him out of guard, making him raise his voice.

“You seem a little nervous” She giggled.

“I’m not. Just your imagination” In that moment, he wished to have Komori's smart mouth. Chit chatting was not his strong point.

The conversation ended with that. If he didn't do something, Rina was going to get bored and would eventually ruin his plan.

After a moment of silence, she spoke again.

“You know, Sakusa-kun, they say if you reach the top with the person you love and kiss him, you are going to be together forever! “Rina was looking at him, playing with her long hair out of nervousness.

In that moment, he understood.

“J-just a rumor “he stuttered “It’s impossible” The Ferris Wheel keep moving and Sakusa's anxiety grew every second. They were reaching the top and he had a slight feeling about what Rina's plans were going. He was not ready and did not wanted it.

“But is cute” she replied” thinking that your beloved one is going to be for eternity with you is something everyone hopes”. 

“Haven't thought of that, actually”. How he was going to avoid that? Was she clean? When was the last time she cleaned her hands?

“Sakusa-kun, you know…” She reached for Sakusa’s hand while getting closing the distance between them.

Everything went downfall from that point. 

Kiyoomi got off as fast as he could under the watchful eye of everyone. Rina was crying and babbling about something that happened inside the cabin.  
He shut himself inside a bathroom. His heart was beating fast and his hands were sweaty. He tried to calm down but nothing was working: his plan failed. Rina was going to tell everyone he was a jerk. His chances of making friends were null now. How was he supposed to face every one now? What was going to happen on the way back to school? He didn't dare to move. He felt safe when he was alone. Everything was easier when he was alone. Everything would be easier if he were like the brave warrior who fought the invincible dragon.

“How pitiful can you be, Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

Kiyoomi did not know how many hours had passed since he fled. He assumed, that enough to call his mother, because he was lost and no one managed to contact him - or rather no one could. They didn't have his number-. Even Motoya was dragged into this mess. He had to confess to his aunt the plans of his cousin and the reasons behind them. So, when they finally found him, he asks his mother to take him away from that dirty place. He could feel the gaze of his classmates on his neck. The whispers reached his ears. He was glad he didn't understand what they were saying. He didn't want to know what they were saying.

He spends the rest of the day looking at the ceiling. In the darkness of his room, the sound of the door opening interrupted his lost mind. His parents joined him. Sakusa was aware of the elephant in the room but his mouth didn't let him speak. Nor of the incident of the park or the secrets Motoya spill for him. The warm touch of his mother Interrupted his thoughts, moving something in his heart. He could not take it anymore.

“Mother, I think I’m sick” Tears rolled down his cheeks. He felt so ashamed.

“My beloved Kiyo-chan” Her voice was soft; in every touch, she tried to show how much she loved him” you know you can count on us. On everything”.

“I know” his crying began to affect his voice “I didn’t want to worry you or disappoint you”.

“Is okay Kiyo, nothing you ever do is going to disappoint us” His father was not good showing affect nor with words, but every time one of his brothers needed help -or himself, in this case- he was there. “We made an appointment with a therapist. Tomorrow”.

He smiled.

Everything was going to be fine.  
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Six years after that incident, he was standing in the volleyball court, spiking the ball with everything he has. With seventeen years old, Sakusa Kiyoomi was someone new, or at least that was what he wanted to think. He still has- most likely- one true friend, but now he has something as important as that: teammates.  
After the incident on the amusement park, Komori apologized for a week, after telling his mother about Sakusa’s secrets. He couldn´t blame him either, his mother was really scary when she was mad but; something good came of that: He joined the volleyball team of his Middle School.  
It was the third session with his therapist and Komori was waiting for him sitting on the couch waiting for Sakusa to arrive. He was worried about him. Rumors spread along the school about the incidents of that day -Some of them very exaggerated- and he knew that Sakusa was feeling down because of that. He could pretend he didn't care but he could see how hurt he was. Komori tried to explain his cousin version but nobody listened.

“I’m scared of germs, basically” He spoke while sitting on the couch “The crowd thing is a consequence of my lack of social life and my love for my house, not an illness but, it still bothers me. It’s not severe so, I can handle it”.

Motoya knew better how Sakusa worked in this kind of situations, it was the best not push him “So, what the Doctor told you to do?”

“I’m going to start using a mask every time I’m outside. Also, I’m going to wash my hands as much as possible” He spoke with his monotone voice “Is going to help me to stay calm”.

“What about…” He stopped. Was it a good idea to ask? What if he gets mad?

“The crowds?” He snorted “We live in a crowded city, nothing much to do about that”.

“Ah” Komori felt guilty. He wanted to help him so bad!

“Sienna-san told me that, taking the train with company would help me” He looked at Komori for the first time since they started talking “It’s going to help me to get used to going outside, so…”

“Kiyo-chan!” He got emotional. His cousin was trusting him in this after everything that happened!

“Don’t get near me”

After that, they started to hang out more. On the way back home, Komori told him about his plan on joining the school's volleyball team. A few months later, at the start of a new year on middle school, he joined the team. The best decision he could make. He even became a little popular. Although, the desire to make friends was no longer an important task and, in his brain, there was no longer room to think about castles and fairy tales.  
Now, in his second year of high school, he got called to the training camp along his cousin. That was the second time he got called. In his first camp, he could play along Wakatoshi, one of the best spikers of Japan and someone he grew fond of over the years. He remembers his first game against Shiratorizawa. Sakusa’s technique was not perfect but his shots were powerful; Unlike Ushijima, who seemed at his young age, an expert. They lost three out of five sets against Wakatoshi’s school but, he did not feel bad, Wakatoshi inspired Kiyoomi. He wanted to be better than him. After that match, Kiyoomi found courage to talk to him. They were not as close to be called "friends" but they were close enough to exchange numbers and text once in a while. Training camp was the only place where they could practice together and he could play along him. This year was not possible but still, a great experience. The only thing he hated about it was one. 

“Hi, Sakusa-Chan” Clone Two, as Sakusa liked to called him, was greeting him.

“Get out, Miya” He hated him. Jesus, he really hated him.

Miya Atsumu. He remembered the first time they met. Was on his Second year in middle school, during a practice match between both schools. Dark hair and brown eyes, just like clone one, his twin brother, Miya Osamu. They were fighting for something only Lord knows, when his eyes met his.

“Dude, his hair is curly” He pointed.

“Woah, look, he has moles above his eye” Clone one said, while touching his own eye.

Sakusa knew he wasn’t going to get along with them. On the other hand, Komori did get to know them a little but Kiyoomi didn’t want to hear the end of it. On his Third year of middle School, Motoya showed him a picture of the twins: they dyed their hair. Miya Atsumu choose a blonde tone while his twin a gray one.

“They look like a couple of criminals” He though. That was something only the twins would do.

They both make an excellent team, Kiyoomi could not deny that. But they were noisy and troublesome; he definitely didn’t like that. The worst one was Miya Atsumu, always trying to provoke him on every match. Sakusa prayed with all his heart to never face them again. Didn’t work.

“Jeez, as polite as always” He put his arm behind his neck, smiling “But don’t worry, I like it when you are moody.” He smiled “I’m looking forward to play with you”.

“Shut up” Just a few days and his suffer would be over. The sad part was that he, indeed, liked the way he setted the ball when they played along. His spikes were even more powerful and precise when he practiced with the twin. But he was not going to said it out loud.

Miya Atsumu was a friendly yet, egocentric guy that liked to be the center of attention, and sadly, he always got what he wanted. Sakusa Kiyoomi get used to be invisible outside the court, he hates unnecessary attention and most certain, he was not friendly with the first person that approached him. Like day and night. True opposites.

“Maybe, he wants to be friends with you?” Sakusa glanced at him with disgust. Was he serious? “Maybe, being a sarcastic dumb is his way to approach people”.

“I doubt” His lunch was getting ruined, thanks to Komori “He must have a lot of friends to hang out. He just wants to piss me off”.

“What makes you think that?”

“Well…” Touché. He did not know a thing about Miya and his intentions “You can clearly see how he like to tease me!” How did his lunch time end in a conversation about Miya Atsumu? Unbelievable. “He just makes sarcastic comments and is always looking for a fight. I don’t want a friend like that”. 

“I think you would make great friends. You guys are alike in some weird way”.

“Is he scared of germs? Does he have the need to wash his hands two times per hour?”

“Ok. I get it”

The only reason Sakusa ever spoke to Miya was: one, he approached him first and two, the few times they played volleyball on the training sessions between Itachiyama and Inarizaki-and the training camps-. Fun matches where he learned a lot of new things that helped him to became a better player but, even in those circumstances, Kiyoomi never got near Miya despite the advice of his coach and his captain on maintaining a healthy relationship even with rivals. Why bother? Most likely, everything would end badly if he answered any of the blonde's comments.  
Now, Komori-and his big mouth- implied that Miya wants to be friends. Was he serious? Miya Atsumu? His friend? The more he thinks about it, more stupid it sounds. Komori always says the first thing that crosses his mind, so Sakusa never really took him seriously, but now…

“Watch Out!”

He got distracted in the middle of a match. It was too late; blood was coming out of his nose. Great.

“I’m sorry!” Kageyama, apologized for hitting him on the face with the ball.

“My fault. Don’t worry” He felt ashamed, everyone was looking at him with a surprised look. It was the first time he got distracted. Ever.

“Y-yes, don’t wo-“

“My, My, I’ve never saw Sakusa-Chan gettin' distracted”

Ah yes, Miya Atsumu had to point it.

“Don’t get used to it, Miya. Is not going to happen again” How annoying.

“Ya bet?”

“Enough” The coach was looking at Kiyoomi, making sure it was not something serious “It doesn’t look bad, but is better if the doctor takes a look at it”.

He has to leave the court?

“I can continue, is not se- “

“Let’s take a short break” He made a gesture with his hands to tell everyone to get off the court. The coach looked at Kiyoomi “Go to the infirmary”.  
Great. It was just great.

The next morning, Sakusa was the first one ready to play. The doctor told him it was best for him to take the rest of the day off. It was really early- the rest of the guys were asleep- but Kiyoomi was really anxious to play. He put the net and brought a few balls to practice his spikes. 

“Don’t you think is better if you practice your receives?” A somewhat harsh voice speaks behind him.  
Sakusa didn’t wanted to look back. He pretends to not hear a thing.

“Good morning to you too, Sakusa-chan” Atsumu was looking at him from the door of the gym” Is always nice to be ignored by you”.

“I was not ignoring you” Lied “Is my special way of making people feel special”.

“How sweet” he finally enters the gym. He sat on the floor “Is kinda early, don’ ya think? Practice starts in two hours”

“I know. I just wanted to start as soon as possible” Was he going to look how he practice?

“I see”

He put on his headphones as he watched him train. He did not comment on any of the serves that Kiyoomi did for a hole forty-five minutes. Something that was stressing him badly. Was he going to stay there quiet all the time? He- for once- wished he would say something.

“Ya really suck”

Or not.

“Sorry for not being a funny thing to watch, jackass”. He was getting on his nerves already.

“Ok, sorry. Mah Bad” He finally put on his feet and walk towards Kiyoomi” If you put your weight on your heels before jumping, you are gonna reach a higher position. With the power of your spikes, jumping a little high is gonna make ya spikes powerful” He showed Him what he meant with that, replicating the pose.

Sakusa hesitated a moment. He watched Wakatoshi and Hoshiumi matches. He always wondered how they jump with that amount of strength. Maybe Miya was right.

“Alright”.

He turned abruptly towards Sakusa 

“Ya actually listen to me?!” He didn’t expect him to take his advice into account.

“…Yeah?” Kiyoomi didn’t get Miya at all. He wondered if his advice was actually serious.

“Am glad!” Whenever he was happy, his particular accent showed more “Lemme join ya then!”

“No”

“C’mon! I can be a great teacher!”

“No. Final answer” What was he thinking when he wanted him to speak?

“We can practice yer receives too” He extend his hand to make the deal. 

Sakusa look at him. When was the last time he washed his hand? He touches the floor and bacteria could live in a lot of places. Were his hygiene measures reliable enough to allow him to actually touch his hand?

“I put disinfectant to mah hands before approaching ya”

He did not say that.

“Whatever” He turn his back at him and continue practicing. Did he hear it right?

“Don’t worry. Not tellin what I noticed”

He did hear right.

“Is not a secret” Suddenly he was getting anxious. Everyone saw him arrive with a mask and it was certain that almost half of the guys on the training camp saw him washing his hands in various occasions. But Miya was the only one he did not want to notice something about him.

“But ya don’t see very happy with me noticing” His low voice makes Sakusa more nervous “’S Ok, everyone has their shit to deal, right?” He looked at Kiyoomi in the eyes” Is alright”.

They continue their practice until breakfast. The coach, of course, yelled at them for not telling him about their private session, and asked both of them to tell him before they do that again. The day continue the same as always, but Sakusa’s mind was not quiet.  
When did Miya realized about his problem? Was he watching him with that much of attention? He was not afraid of others noticing his problem but him, in particular, makes him nervous.

“Sakusa, focus!”

If he concentrated enough with volleyball for the rest of the camp, his worries about Miya Atsumu wouldn’t interfere in his matches. It did not matter. He was here for volleyball and nothing else. Therefore, he had to focus on that. What did it matter if Miya actually tell everybody? But Sakusa knew he was actually serious about keeping it low key. What makes him mad is the fact that Miya, the clone that make fun of his curly hair years ago; the one who was more ego then human being, was being nice to him with the thing that gave him problems years ago.  
Komori’s words came into his mind, Miya Atsumu wanted to be friends? Is the first time in his live someone told him that a person is willing to have a friendship with him. How was he supposed to take it? He even teached him a way to receive the ball better. Was that a way of making friends? Even him knew the answer.

“I’m must be losing my mind” He whispered.

He avoided the blonde the rest of the camp. Whenever they were together, his heart beated faster and that was something Sakusa didn’t like. What’s was the good thing about having someone like him as a friend? Probably nothing. His world will remain the same, only with the annoying presence of Miya disturbing him.  
By the end of the last day of training camp, Atsumu asked him for his number.

“In your dreams” And he left, without even saying goodbye.

He didn't say a word to Komori all the way - it was all his fault after all- Once home, his mother was waiting for him with dinner ready. He told him that he had ventilated his room every day while he was gone - something Kiyoomi appreciated- Dinner went the same as always: He talked about his volleyball games - in this case, the training camp - his parents, about things from work and his brothers, about college and some test they had to study for. Everything was fine until his cell phone rang. It was a message from an unknown number. Reading it, he knew who it was: Miya Atsumu.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Unknown.  
“guess ya cousin is someone easy to convince”

He never gives up.

“Thanks for the meal” Sakusa went direct to his room. Komori really was someone who he shouldn’t trust. Ignoring the message was the best way to avoid future problems. The closest thing he had to a friend he didn't know how to keep secrets and he gave his number to annoying people- but he still cared for him- Wakatoshi could also be considered as a friend but, more than anything, texts about volleyball and the occasional anecdote were sent between them, so he did not need Miya to fill that vacancy. Lizuna-senpai also, talked to him and he likes to talk to him too, but is more a Senpai-Kohai thing. Having friends equals to talk to them every day -which he dislikes, with obvious exceptions- Hanging out- which is ok, but not into the cinema- he had enough with volleyball practices and school…

“But he didn’t ask you to hang out with him. He never said he was your friend”

With his mind confused, he took his cellphone:

\----------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Clone two.  
“What a pain”.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang again but Sakusa didn’t look at it. Whatever the clone said, he did not want to know it. When he was eleven years old, the time when he really cared about friendship with people his age, he never imagined that someone like him would approach and be kind to him - in a strange way, of course-. Miya Atsumu was not supposed to be nice. Miya Atsumu was not supposed to be friendly with him. Miya Atsumu was not supposed to look for a friendship with him.

With the moon lighting his room in the cold night of winter, Sakusa Kiyoomi stayed up, wondering what were Atsumu Miya's intentions with him; if they were really honest, if he could really trust him at some point. He wondered why he has so happy knowing he got his number- in one way or another- He felt asleep wondering, why his chest felt so warm whenever his grin come into his mind.


	2. Ninety-nine percent doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: clingy Kiyoomi. Kinda long chapter.   
> Enjoy :3

Ninety-nine percent doubt.

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Atsumu was an insistent guy. That's one of the things Sakusa hated about him.   
Although the interactions between his teams were merely for training or official games, Sakusa always found a way to avoid him, only to make Atsumu more curious about him. He doesn’t remember when or how he fixated on the curly haired guy but; there was something interesting in the way Kiyomi dealt with others: A little cold, considerably distant; as well as quite rude. He always left a space to be nice when required but never showing that he did want to be it. One of a kind, in Atsumu’s opinion.  
The first time they met was in middle school. He was fighting with his brother when a dark curly hair crossed his eyes. Of course, the first thing that comes from his mouth is something he shouldn't said, but he was impressed. His hair was beautiful. His moles where something that gave him a distinctive air. Atsumu remembers the way he looked at them; a little shocked when he saw they were two similar faces rolling in the ground. It was there when he considered approaching him.  
Since the very beginning, Kiyomi gave him the cold shoulder in every occasion; always found a way to end the conversation with just one word. In their middle school days, Atsumu tried to get closer to chat but Sakusa just ran away from him as fast as possible, no matter how hard he tried: Kiyoomi just didn't noticed him. One day, Atsumu got the feeling that one of his spikes were meant to reach his face, that was so rude! But not enough for Atsumu to give up. Every time Atsumu had an idea in his head, he followed it to the last consequences; the result did not matter but of course, it was better if it ended in something good - for him-. Was he getting obsessed after the big amount of 'never in my life' Sakusa has given him? Maybe, but he really wanted to get close to him, What’s so bad about it?

“I mean, don’ ya think it would be great if we were friends?”

Osamu just sighed. was he serious? he had witnessed - and participated in - Sakusa's constant rejections. He knew his brother was insistent, but this time he was reaching a new limit.

“If ya don’ start usin’ ya brain, ya gonna get in trouble for real”.

“Hey! What’s so bad about wantin’ another friend to han’ out?”. His twin never truly understood his intentions and he dare to called himself his brother? 

“Han’ out? Sakusa?”

Osamu looked at him for a moment. Since the beginning of their life, he was beside his brother; a connection that was never going to be broken. Both know each other better than anyone, know their secrets and share memories that the rest of the world will not know. That gave him a better understanding about his brother and himself but, for the first time in ages, he didn’t get it. Was he serious? Kiyomi apparently hated Atsumu- and him- to the point he barely looked at them at matches. Even Aran warned Atsumu that one of these days he would be disappeared from the face of the earth if he kept insisting on Sakusa and still… Osamu could feel that something good could come from there. He knew It would be good for his brother to have someone more focused than him by his side. He also knew that Atsumu's heart was still confused and giving him ideas could make it worse.  
“I want to change brothers.”

“’m so fuckin’ done with ya, fuckin bi-!”

He just hoped that one day, a nice memory replaces the one his brother got in a cold winter night.  
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.  
It took Kiyoomi a while to create a routine that would make him happy; It was not as easy as it looked. His therapist instructed him not to overdo it but to add the things that he felt were necessary to make him feel at ease. It was difficult for him to settle with the minimum that the rest of the population considered as enough implements for personal hygiene and household cleaning. Once, he chose to stay home instead of going to school; it seemed to him that the cleanliness of the halls was insufficient by his standards. After chatting with his mother -and explaining to Sienna-san about what happened-he returned after almost a week of absence.  
A year later, after insisting his mother to buy thousands of disinfectants a week; he settled for disposable masks and antibacterial soap. Sakusa created a hand-washing routine that, in his mind, was the most effective to avoid getting in contact with germs: before starting practice, he washed his hands three times and moisturized them so his skin would not break and get dry; He cleans his hands with hand sanitizer each practice break they have. He repeats the process after club and once in home to make sure no bacteria would make him sick.  
After the whole incident back in his middle school days, his classmates looked at him in a strange way. They were not sure about what happened on the amusement park; Komori’s version of the whole thing was not taken seriously because he was related to Sakusa and was biased. Rumors became worst the first time they saw Kiyomi with a face mask: He got sick? Was it true that Rina scratched his face? Was it true that Rina leave a mark on Sakusa’s check? The rumors got weirder every time Kiyoomi showed up with a new cleaning product to clean his desk before taking a seat. He never took them seriously.  
His team mates where used to Kiyoomi's routine. They saw him with a weird look the first time he introduced himself: he was wearing his face mask. They thought he was sick or something along the lines. One of the seniors of the club actually asked him but Sakusa just gave him an annoyed look that, later that day, he apologized for. As days went by, Sakusa and mask were no longer a question, they got used to seeing him wearing it before and after practice pretty quickly; If he felt comfortable in that way, it was okay, something that Sakusa was happy for. They did ask him about his cleaning process eventually but it didn't bother him. In Itachiyama he had to re-adapt to his new equipment and vice versa, but once they saw him enough times with his mask on his face and his cleaning products, no one thought it was anything strange. What was more important for them was the way he play inside the court. He was a beast hitting the ball, and was actually really good with receives for someone who just started playing in middle school. In the eyes of others, Sakusa, the volleyball player, was formidable. His mind always focused on the game and nothing else. Something that stays until present.

But there was something spinning in Kiyoomi's head lately…  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Clone two.  
“Hey, this cat look like you”.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
A dyed blonde guy has gotten his phone number and was texting him almost every day. After talking to his cousin about the thousand reasons why giving his number to people, he did not approve of was a bad idea, he replied to another of his messages. Something that he regretted the second the boy sent him more and more messages. Kiyomi thought that Atsumu was one of those people who was happy to see that a notification appeared on his phone, something that of course, he did not understand- He wasn't going to judge if it was like that, but it seemed stupid to him- How much free time do you have to send so many messages? is he always with the phone in hand? It frustrated him to see how good he was at speaking and how bad he was at answering. He preferred to think of something else, like Atsumu is simply a natural communicator and he is a man of few words.  
If he was honest with himself for a moment, he had to admit a thing: Atsumu was getting what he wanted-whatever it was-. His teammates being nice with him, with or without his cleaning thing? It´s ok. His family? It's ok. Wakatoshi? It's ok-this kind of doesn’t count, he has a cleaning routine as well- anyway...Miya Atsumu?...

“I’m going for a walk”

“Be careful and don’t be late!”

Why was so hard to believe in him? A first impression is just that and if he wants to use it as an excuse to keep himself from him, it would make him a hypocrite, considering every person in his life who did that before knowing him- though, he doesn't care that much-   
Miya always send text to Kiyoomi. He barely responds them. It was the kind of routine that had formed between the two of them since training camp. It was admiring how Atsumu didn’t gave up every time Kiyoomi ignored him and the funny videos and pictures he send, He was someone very patient. Sakusa didn't want to feel guilty when he ignored it but sometimes it was difficult even for him. His brain started to find excuses behind these actions. He could not accept the fact that, the Miya Atsumu that he pictured as a jerk, was being nice with him. Those were two words that didn't belong together, ever. Friendship was not a good excuse for going as far as asking Komori for his number, there must be something behind it. For Sakusa's pain, the blonde kept his promises about his fear of germs and not telling the other players-It didn’t matter though, by this time, everyone has saw him wearing a mask outside the court ever since his first year of high school, it was no secret anyway-. Kiyoomi couldn't trust his good intentions; but facts were facts and he did not lie about this-at least-. Was it so hard to believe that clone two was nicer than he thought? 

He came to a park that was a few blocks from his house. The scarf he wears around his neck was not enough to cover him from the cold of that winter day. It was night so it was completely empty. Kiyoomi simply stood looking at the structures; he would not sit in any game with potential risk of contamination. When he was young, he used to play in all those games without hesitation, now he wouldn’t even give them a chance. They didn´t look as fun as they used to. With a handkerchief, he wiped one of the benches and sat for a moment. He wondered what Wakatoshi was doing at the moment, if he were still training at this time of night. He thought of Komori; most likely he was watching a program on tv with his siblings. For a moment he thought of Miya, perhaps he was fighting with his brother or thinking about the interhigh that was nearby. He remembered his smile from the time they both trained in the camp; somewhat sincere ...  
“And again, ‘Miya’ and ‘sincere’ doesn´t belong together.”   
He Sigh. Lately he was thinking about this a lot. It was then that he remembered the message Miya had sent him a few hours earlier. In home, he was careful when opening the chat with him. If there was something inappropriate in it, he did not want his mother to see it. He looks at the picture that Miya sent to him: It was a black cat with yellow eyes, ready to attack any moment he got near. In the picture was Atsumu trying to approach him and the shadow-probably from Osamu-was near him, taking the picture. He is really good trying to make conversation.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Clone two.  
“I can totally understand the cat. I would be the same if I was near you”.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Trying to understand a person and their intentions was more complicated than he thought. Sometimes, Kiyomi thought that everything would be easier if he was a little more like his cousin or at least someone who was not so distant with the rest. Judging was so easy, why accepting whatever it comes, so difficult?

His phone rang seconds after sending him the answer.

\----------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Clone two.  
“Right? Samu tol’ me the same. That’s why I send this to ya!”.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
So that’s why he sends the picture…He felt a little disappointed.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Clone two.  
“So, you were talking behind my back with your brother? Classic Miya”.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
Suddenly, he got a phone call. Atsumu. He hesitated but at this point in their- apparently- friendship, what was the point in ignoring him? Miya knew that if he was responding, is because he was free.

“What”.

“First of all, we don’ talk behind yer back!” Atsumu was yelling from the other side of the line. Sakusa could clearly hear Osamu’s voice, yelling something he couldn’t understand and messing with his brother “Second of all… ‘Sup Omi-kun”.

Less than a minute in the call and he was getting a headache. This was a bad idea “I’m hanging up”.

“Wait a little! Is the first time yer bein’ talkative with me! More important, havin’ a phone call with me!”

“I can totally understan’ why he wants to han’ up” Osamu, apparently, wanted to be part of the conversation.

“Shut it, ya jerk”

“Make me”

Even through the phone, clone two was still him. Sakusa giggle hearing them fighting over nothing. The first time he saw them, they were also fighting. Some things did not change.

“D-d-did you just giggled? 

Oh no, he heard.

“I’m hanging up for real-”

“Samu, he giggled for me! I told ya he didn’ hated me, ya bitch!”

How annoying. But for some reason it was a good thing hearing him. His brain stopped for a moment, thinking about everything that was wrong with him and just focused on the chit chat. He was grateful that Atsumu was great filling silence. He easily talked about his day and the first thing that crossed his mind; he spoke of trivial and meaningless things to entertain him. He talked to him about volleyball and how Aran lectured him and his brother for fighting once again. Kiyoomi tried to and told him about his practice and his school day. It was fun for him actually. Just talk and nothing else. 

A cold breeze reminded him that he was not at home. he looked at the clock on his phone: quarter past ten. His mother was going to kill him.

“I have to hang out”

“Why? ‘m bothering ya? Ya know I tal- “

“Is not that” He interrupted him” I was having a walk before sleep, and I was supposed to be back half an hour”.

“Omi-kun, bein’ outside this late is dangerous! Ya gotta be careful!”

“My mom is going to scold me. I don’t need you to do that” Stupid clone.

“I see…” There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. Had something happened to him? “’M glad I got the chance to talk to ya, omi-kun. You lift mah mood!”

“Why? Did something happen?” Kiyoomi doesn't recall anyone telling him that he raised it spirits. That was something new.

“Nothin’ important, actually. Don’ worry!”

“He finally used his brain for once. It must be headache what he has”

“Can ya fuckin’ leave for real?”

Sakusa could hear Osamu insult Atsumu before leaving him alone. Did they ever stop fighting?

“Omi-kun, you are being chatty today, it must be my lucky day!”

“Don’t ignore what I just asked you”

“‘m not! Is just… ya know… I did something I had to do a long time ago and ‘m happy! But kinda sad though…But thanks to ya, ‘m definitely better!”

Atsumu having a bittersweet moment? He never though he would be this honest with him. Actually, what was he talking about? But Kiyoomi didn’t find the right words to ask. He wasn't so sure how much to ask or how close they were to getting into the blonde's personal business, either. But he did know something…

“Well, we are friends…right?”

Atsumu was silent for a few seconds. He sighed and with a soft voice answered him:

“Of course, we are, Omi-kun”

Uh…what?

“Y-yes…right…I-I see…bye!”

He hangs up as fast as he could. What was that? For a moment, his heart skipped a beat. Had he gotten sick? Was it possible to get sick from a phone call? Even he knew that was impossible. So why did he feel happy - just a little! - when he said you had cheered him up? He was going crazy. He was really losing his mind! After collecting his thoughts, Kiyoomi came to the conclusion that having calls with Miya was risky for his mental health. Something unfair, since he was aware that, in fact, he had enjoyed those minutes talking with him- And Osamu-.

Once at home- and after his parents scolded him for being late and not calling them to say he was fine- he took a hot bath; the cold winter, added to the time he sat in the park, could make him sick and sooner or later, it would affect his game. He thought about the call he had with Atsumu: it was relaxing. He remembered how His voice was low, his accent was indistinguishable, each word she spoke sounded different. Sakusa noticed how Atsumu's voice got a little deeper when he wanted to sound more serious. He had to thank Komori for giving him the number; In the end, he did find a new friend - someone very particular, like Miya Atsumu-. 

He remembered the times he spoke with Wakatoshi: Yes, they were friends. But they had never talked so much on the phone. Their conversations always revolved around volleyball, a couple of times they talked about more personal issues, but nothing very deep. Then, Miya came and just spoke about everything and nothing. He even confided, in a way, that he had felt a little bad but thanks to him, he managed to cheer up; something Kiyoomi was proud of.

“Since when I got and upgrade to ‘Omi-kun’?”

He got out of the tub quickly. It has been in it for a long time and it was time to rest. He applied his styling cream and dried his hair. He wanted to do something to distract himself but it was difficult when his head was going a thousand an hour. Sometimes, he would like to return time to the days without a talkative blonde who found many ways to get his attention. Unfortunately for Kiyoomi, it was not a viable option.  
He was not as bad as he seemed, he had to admit it; the problem was him and his mind, looking for excuses to put him aside and avoid problems because; if he gave importance to the number of times, he thought about his smile since that day when they practiced together... If he thought about how deep down – really deep down- he liked getting his text messages ... If he really thought carefully about how his heart beat in the park when Atsumu said he lift his mood ...

“If I don’t say it out loud, is not going to be real”

The Contact with his pillow fails to put him to fall asleep one again. His nights had turned into moments to think about the blond twin who couldn't be nice because it was convenient for him. What bothers him the most was thinking: Does Atsumu thinks the same way about him? Does he think is better for him If Kiyoomi was someone distant and hard to understand? He wants to ask him if this is all just in his head. His heart is pounding tonight and he wondered,   
trying to evade the truth, if he was ready to pay more attention to his own thoughts, that were screaming the truth-  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Kiyoomi was warming up before the match start. Fukurodani against Itachiyama. An exciting match that he was looking up to. Bokuto was someone energetic-and very loud- but a great opponent, something that makes him respectful in Sakusa's eyes. Thanks to Akaashi he was being less annoying then ever was, something Kiyoomi and the rest of the schools were grateful. 

"I have theory" Komori, who was stretching beside him, was looking right at the energetic guy" if you put a light into Bokuto-kun mouth, it's going to shine"

"Probably" Lizuna said while standing “But you have to admit that his energy is what makes the game fun". 

“The game gets better when he gets sad”

"He has a strong rival now" His team mate said" Miyagi has an orange haired guy. His jump is dope"

"Who would get tired first, jumping chibi or Bokuto?"

"Can we finish our warm up" Kiyoomi interrupted them" Just talking about them makes me feel without energy".

"Don't said that. We need you on top of your game! ". The captain taped his back in a cheer up gesture" we count on you". 

"Yes"

His team mates where used to Kiyoomi's harsh words, they knew that they were in a good way. Motoya had to go out to give a couple of explanations, the times Kiyoomi said something cruel to one of his classmates. His teammates even provoke him to insult them. Kiyoomi didn't understand what was so funny when he has yelling.   
The stadium was full. It was a match that many fans were waiting for. The chants of both teams resounded in the stadium waiting for the start of the match. Fifteen minutes rest before it finally began. His hands get wet out of nervousness, something Sakusa dislike; there wasn’t enough time to go to the bathroom and wash his hands again. He has to settle with regular hand sanitizer.

"slippery hands may play against ya, Omi-kun."

What was he doing here?  
Atsumu was wearing casual clothes that day. The times they saw each other at training camp, you saw him in training or sportswear. This was something new, the burgundy t-shirt and ripped jeans gave it a fresher air than usual. He Looked handsome.

"You should be in Hyōgo and let me remind you that you can’t be here unless you are part of one of the teams that plays today" Sakusa looked at him in a way of telling him 'disappear'. Miya ignored it.

"So cute" he replied, putting emphasis in 'cute' "One, we’re here to watch this match. Second, I came to say good look". 

Lies.  
"I don't need that" Sakusa find hard to believe that was the only reason" 'Luck' Doesn't make you win. Effort and practice do". 

"Yer speech is makin’ me emotional" He got closer to him" As emotional as ya telling me more than 'Ok' 'nice' and 'shut up, Miya’ for the past few weeks!"

…So that was all about.

"Sorry for not taking serious the guy who just stole my phone number" Sakusa told him while turning away from him. How irritating.   
If Kiyoomi said out loud the dumb reason why he was avoiding him, he would bury himself alive. It was so embarrassing!   
Since the day they spoke on the phone, Kiyoomi had been nervous when receiving a call or a message from Miya to the point his mind went blank and didn’t think of a good response. Pretend he was busy was the best for not feeling guilty.

"Hey!" He walks towards him "Yer cousin told me it was no problem! And you seemed not to bother when I called you!" 

Stupid Komori and stupid Miya. 

"What do you want?!" he was getting on his nerves before his match. Does he wanted to distract him? 

"Why not han’ out tomorrow?" 

"You came your way here to ask me to hang out?!" 

"Yes" His face was totally serious.

And Sakusa couldn’t believe it. He definitely didn’t get him at all "No, thanks" 

“Why not!?” He yelled so loud Sakusa’s team mates turn around to see what happened; Miya shouldn't be there in the first place making curious eyes to be upon them. He could even hear some whispers from the audience, which was obviously not good. “The other day everything was fine between us! “

“S-shut Up!” Why did he say it in that way! His team mates could misunderstood everything! Kiyoomi was bright red and he didn’t have his mask to hide it and everyone was looking at them. Everything thanks to Miya “Follow me”.

He took a mask and guided him to one of the corridors where fortunately few people walked and they could talk quietly. Not even that time in elementary school when he dressed as a carrot was as humiliating as this!

“Just five minutes”

“Did I do something? Ye been avoiding me this week and, don’t try to deny it, sir!” He put his hands on his waist as he directed his gaze to his feet: he was nervous “Just tell me what happened! Maybe… ya really dislike me? He whispered “Tell me! I wanna know Omi-kun!” and yelled again.

Sakusa just looked at him speechless. Sometimes, he really acted like a spoiled child.

“No, I don’t…I- “

“Then, why are ya avoiding me?!”

“Stop yelling at me!”

The few people who pass by the corridor look at them strangely. They both tried to keep their composure. That whole conversation was already embarrassing.

“Stop making a scene” 

“Make me”

“Miya!”

That was unbelievable! He knew Atsumu had reason to complain and behave like that but honestly, he was exaggerating! and in public! The situation was so humiliating that the only thing Sakusa wanted was for a hole to appear under his feet and make it disappear. Lord, he knew he had done something wrong, but Sakusa felt that the punishment was being too great. Miya keep staring at him like an angry cat waiting for an explanation that never comes. So, he spoke first:  
“Fine! I just…I mean…Ugh!” He turned his back on Sakusa for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts before speaking. Sakusa looked at him, waiting for the second where he will receive the next attack. Finally, he looked at him "I thought that when ye said that we were friends you meant it and… from one moment to another you disappear… And the idiot that I have for a brother said that ya hated me and I! ... What I mean is ... if I did somethin’ wron’, let me fix it on a ... date " He let out a sigh, as if a very heavy load was leaving when he said those words.  
Sakusa was shocked. Miya, who seems to say the first thing that crosses his mind, went to him to not only ask for an explanation but also to 'apologize' and not only being thoughtful but also, he wanted to 'fix' something he 'did'. He felt bad over the whole situation but even more, for Miya. Didn't matter how he looked at it, Kiyoomi was to blame. He looked for a way to explain something that not even he-apparently- understood.

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell you why I’ve been avoiding you because…”

He didn’t want to say it.

“So, yer not mad?”

“No”

Atsumu's face lit up. He was relieved that Kiyoomi wasn't mad at him. Every time he smiled his face looked innocent.   
That was enough for him to start talking non-stop again, as if nothing had happened. It really impressed Kiyoomi how easy it was to make him happy. He looked different from the serious boy who on the court could destroy you with a serve or the one who provoked the other players at every opportunity. Very different from the Atsumu that Sakusa created in his head: clumsy, selfish, self-centered ... it was almost as if in that short time, Kiyomi's mind took a turn and everything he believed about clone two disappeared without giving a chance to distinguish what was true and what was a lie, almost as if in that short time ...

“Miya I- “

“Let’s go on a date!”

“Stop fucking interrupting me, you self-centered jerk!”

“What the hell did I do now, Omi-kun!?”

“Is everything okay...” 

They both froze. Komori appeared behind them who knows when. Sakusa inevitably blushed. Luckily, this time he was wearing his mask- Atsumu just waved at him like nothing happened there.

“Kita-kun is looking for you, Atsumu-kun and…” He looked at Sakusa “Our match is about to start.”

Kiyoomi looked at his phone: it was five minutes before the match finally start...and he forgot. He couldn't believe he forgot his own match! Sakusa looked at Atsumu with a disappointed look, to tell him that he was the one to blame.

“I-I see, they must've been worried when they saw I never returned from the bathroom” He looked at Kiyoomi again and smiled at him” Then… about what we tal- "

“I’m going to think about it”

“Great”

“Great”

Silence.

“Good luck!”

Atsumu ran as fast as he could, leaving Komori and Sakusa alone. None of them knew how to break the awkward silence that was between them. Whatever he had to explain, how was he supposed to do so? He really wanted a hole to appear under his feet. Sakusa took the initiative; he cleared his throat and finally spoke.  
“Let’s go or our coach is going to get mad at us. We don’t want that.”  
Sakusa was walking fast, clearly nervous. He did not want to see his cousin's face; how long was he standing there? Anyone could find them in that hallway, but did it have to be his cousin? First, Miya makes a scene in front of his team-and the public! -, then in front of strangers and now, his cousin walks silently as if trying to analyze a situation that even he didn't understand. great. Just great. Why wasn’t him saying something? Did he really wanted to hear Komori’s opinion on this, anyway? The response came faster than he thought.

“That was not the right moment or the right person to almost say those words, and you know it”

Chills run through Sakusa’s spine. Motoya heard everything…right?

“Is not what you thin- “

“Ok, I don’t know if he is the right person, but definitely, that was the worst place to say it” Sakusa finally met his eyes. Komori was smiling…kindly? No matter what Sakusa said, Motoya had already drawn his own conclusion and what with his luck? Lately, everything seemed chaos to Sakusa “Let’s go. They are waiting for us.”  
But it wasn’t about luck. It was about his cousin, who kindly walk to the court without asking a thing. Bokuto was practicing his spikes alongside Akaashi; his team was ready to talk with their coach before the match began: the atmosphere was very lively and Kiyoomi was only grateful that Bokuto's screams were loud enough to distract him from his own mind.  
He was there to win a match, not to assume his feelings.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Itachiyama won the match. A game against them was never easy. The last set was very fought: Bokuto managed to break Itachiyama's defense on several occasions, leading them to change the strategy of the game. Sadly, only one team wins and this time victory was left to Sakusa’s school.  
“Bokuto-san, is fine” Akaashi walked to their bench where Bokuto was sitting. He tried to raise the spirits of the ace of the team, who was alone, with a towel above his head that covered his face. He really wanted to win and this time, the chances were high. Still, they didn't make it “Let’s go, they are waiting for us.”   
“Akaashe, why aren’t you mad? We lost!” Bokuto was used to Akaashi's calm in every situation, but this time it surprised him: It was the last time they would play together.  
“I am mad, but…they are strong. There’s nothing to do about that, right?” Akaashi didn't want Bokuto to feel bad. He loves him very much and seeing him sad because of him was the last thing he wanted to add into his boyfriend’s mood.   
Bokuto finally looked him in the eye and he could see sadness in them; It was a frustrating situation but Bokuto had to put it aside. Akaashi offered his hand for him to stand up “Let's go to line up with the rest.”

Both teams said goodbye. Sakusa watched as Bokuto and Akaashi walked hand in hand. It surprised him that someone like him would date Bokuto but at the same time, who else but him would be so patient with him? The first year he met Bokuto, Sakusa could see how he followed his setter everywhere before starting the match; Akaashi never reproached him for anything. Sakusa guessed that there was a balance between the two and, after all the time they spent together, they would eventually date. The Itachiyama went to the gym locker room to collect their things before leaving. The team's spirits were high: they had beaten one of the strongest schools in Tokyo, something to always be proud of.

“Let’s go celebrate our classification to interhigh!”

... but Sakusa couldn't be calm. He knew that a certain person - who many times had to face for doing what he should not be behind his back - would come to talk about what happened in the damn hall with damn clone two. For these reasons, he did not believe in luck. They decided on a food place near the stadium; They had been there a couple of times before so they knew the quality of the food was good. Sakusa, unlike his teammates, he preferred to come home to eat: he was not in the mood like the rest of the team.

“Are you sick?” Lizuna had noticed that Sakusa had not touched the food on his plate “The place has all its permits up to date, don't worry!”

“Is not that, I’m not hungry. That’s all”

“You’ve been acting weird since the match” His team mate, who also noticed Sakusa’s lack of appetite joined them “By the way, why was Inarizaki’s setter there?”

Oh no.

“The whole team was spying on us. I saw them in the stands.”

“Yeah, but how did he manage to get where our team was? Isn’t that illegal or something?”

“Perhaps, he knows someone of the staff?”

“We saw you guys arguing before the match”

“Sakusa-senpai, since when are you close with him?”

The law of life says that if the day goes bad, it can always get worse; something Sakusa has been experiencing all day. Why did they start talking about Miya? If only he hadn't walked in where the team was, this conversation wouldn't exist. Sakusa tried to switch the subject but his attempts were unsuccessful. The team quickly became interested in that incident.

“What business did he have with you?”

“Maybe he wanted an advice”

“That guy? He definitely wanted to distract Sakusa”

“where did you go with him when you left the court?”

Will they ever stop talking?

“Must look for you to insult you or something?”

“He screamed something about you guys doing well…?”

Please, stop talking.

“Are you dating him?”

“Sakusa is dating!?”

Will they ever stop talking?

“I never though Kiyoomi liked guys like him”

“eh…Guys?” Komori could sense it. If they didn’t stop now, Sakusa was going to get really mad.

“Impossible. That boy is the worst! A total asshole! Sakusa wouldn't bear it for that long.”

Sakusa stood up and his companions automatically fell silent.

“G-guys, don’t push him…” Motoya tried to help him but it was late.

“If you excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom”

Any excuse would do to get out of there. He washed his face and looked at himself for a moment in the mirror in front of him. He didn't want to talk about it, or talk about Miya, or anything related about what happened before the game. He was in no mood to talk about anything. He was trying, but it was as if everything was screaming at him that he should do it.  
Since they first spoke on the phone, he knew that a part of him did not want just friendship; now, after talking to him face to face, he realized that he, indeed, have feelings for him…and more than he thought he would; which could turn into an annoyance. He felt as if he were not the one who reflects the mirror anymore, in not much time he changed much and he did not like it; He? Worried about Love? He was always prepared for everything and now ... wasn't there something he could do?

“what’s so bad about liking boys like him anyway?”

Only doubts remained in his head and, out of education to his companions, he chose to return to eat with them instead of fleeing from everything that worried him.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
It is normal for adolescents at some point in their life to wonder what they would like to do after high school. Many choose something related to music or art; Literature is also a good option when reading and writing is given to you. Math? Maybe take a degree in engineering or a bachelor's degree in mathematics; maybe choose something with biology or chemistry? it was interesting to see cell cultures. Kiyoomi unfortunately, hadn't thought of anything.  
His room had many volleyball-related medals and trophies, but his intellectual skills were not far behind; medals for his good academic performance and diplomas that he won thanks to his participation in different scientific fairs; Of course, the recognition of volleyball was what gave him all the prestige he now carried.

“Kiyo-chan could perfectly suit in med-school!”

“Do you like my career, Kiyo? his eldest brother was in his last year of college in medicine school. Something Kiyoomi appreciated; it was always good to have a doctor around in an emergency.

“Mother, you know that parasites and diseases are not my favorite area.”

“Right…”

“What about Law like your brother and father?”

“I don’t think my brother would like to choose our major, dad.” The second eldest was in his third year at the same university as his other brother “He would end up insulting his   
client for get in trouble before start his job”

“You are right!”

Sakusa did not care much about that conversation, he still had time to think about what he would do after school. He could even take an extra year to think about it-even though his parents wouldn't let him-. After a long time, he decided to go shopping, his favorite volleyball shoes were worn out; he would also need new knee pads. Maybe he could buy a new sweater or jeans. It was the weekend and the day was perfect to go out and relax after several days of stress. The mall was full of people, something Kiyoomi had already resigned to: he lived in Tokyo, what more could he ask for? Komori had joined him in his search for new sneakers. His parents had agreed to talk about college and his future as well.

“I have already decided that I will dedicate myself to volleyball in a professional way, my mother and her false cry will not be able to manipulate me!”

It had been a month since Atsumu had asked him out and he had promised him an answer. Despite the blonde's insistence, Kiyoomi managed not to hang out just the two of them as Atsumu wanted. He was clear that he was doing something foolish, even Atsumu could guess it; his last messages were less constant and colder. He was angry at him, after Kiyoomi himself told him that everything was okay he just avoids the subject at all cost. He constantly looked at his phone, waiting for one of Atsumu's messages. Now that he admitted what he feels, the need to talk to him was high but his pride told him not to make a wrong move. Atsumu might notice something and for that, he was definitely not ready. Maybe he was busy? would he be practicing with his brother? He never thought the day would come when he would miss a message from Atsumu. But no, he wouldn't be the one to speak first ... right?

“Why not call him?”

Komori had been watching his cousin for a while; who every so often took out his phone and looked at the screen in search of something. 

“I’m not a stalker”

After Komori saw them speak, he had been silent for a few days; curiosity was stronger and he asked him directly about Atsumu. Kiyoomi did his best to avoid telling him anything else but Motoya was cunning. At times like these, he regretted having him as a friend.   
He ended up telling him everything and sadly, he also admitted that he liked Atsumu. Komori wasn't surprised that he liked a boy- unlike what Kiyoomi thought- rather, did he like Miya? The guy he called a "self-centered, provocative, narcissistic clone"? If he had bet that Kiyoomi would end up in love with one of those twins, he would have lost.

“You should follow him on Insta; he posts something like every day”

“Not my style”

“You could see his face every day…”

“…I don’t need that” He could se his face from the picture with the cat…but he wasn’t going to day It out loud “I don’t like insta.”

“look, he posted his last history two hours ag-“

Hm?

“What’s that?”

“Let´s go for something to eat, I’m starving”

What?

“Komori”

“Steak is great, don’t you think”

“Komori” he looked at him “Show me”

Komori surrendered to Sakusa's threatening eyes. He looked at the screen of his cousin's cell phone: It was a photo of Atsumu with Kita in ... Tokyo? Tokyo was a bit far from Hyōgo, right? In the first photo, Kita was seen looking at the shoes from the same store where Kiyoomi had bought. The next story was in the ice cream parlor, where an Atsumu was seen drinking a giant ice cream and Kita posing next to him with one arm around Atsumu’s shoulders; the next at the entrance to the cinema. In no photo was Osamu seen ... Bottom line: Atsumu was on a date with… Kita. 

“So that’s what you didn’t wanted me to see?”

“You’re not mad?”

“Is fine, he can hang out wherever he wants. Let’s go”

What’s something wrong if he goes on dates with Kita? He was their captain, they spent a lot of time together, it was natural for the two of them to go out alone, right? He had also gone out with Lizuna a few times ... and the rest of the team. But it was similar ... right? There was no need to think that, for that reason Atsumu had stopped sending him so many messages, the two matters were completely unrelated ... right? Because that time he asked him to go out, it was because he really wanted to go out with him ... but as friends, because, Kita was also just his friend ... right? It didn't have to matter. It was not important.

“Let’s go”

“I haven’t finished my food”

“Let’s go, Komori”

Komori followed him. They took the train to go home. They both stay silence. Kiyoomi couldn’t decide if he was grateful or mad about his silence; it wasn’t a ‘Komori thing’ to shut his mouth when something happened around him so, what was with him? Sakusa knew that Motoya was not to blame for anything; He declined his invitations so many times that it was obvious he had a backup plan. It wasn't his problem who Miya dated or what he did with his life or what Miya thought of him.

“What’s with that face? You’re scaring me.”

Komori’s voice interrupted Kiyoomi. Sakusa ignored him. His concentration was on movie theaters and ice cream parlors in the mall that made a blond guy smile next to a senpai.

“Sorry”

The train gradually filled up; something Sakusa knew would happen. It was the peak hour of the day and the line they took was the busiest. He guided Komori near the door, where there was some more free space. He felt somewhat agitated: He was wearing his mask and from the number of people in the air it seemed little. Komori didn't tell him anything about what happened ... did he really wanted to talk? Or was it better to let it go? maybe he needed advice ... or maybe not. It was better to leave everything as it was and that's it. Miya and Kita looked good together and…

“I get off here”

“You okay? Kiyoomi!”

Stupid college. Stupid team mates. Stupid Komori. Stupid train with so low oxygen inside it. Stupid Miya. Sakusa walked through the passengers quickly before the doors closed. As quickly as he could, he located a place to take a seat. With the bags in his arms, he looked at the ceiling for a moment; lately he was stressing a lot for little. It was not good to think so much about the same matter, but he felt somewhat...jealous? Definitely not. He was the one that choose not to go on a date with him. Kiyoomi was shocked at his own stupidity. He really didn't recognize himself.

“What the hell was that just now!?”

“Nothing” Sakusa was not in the mood to argue with him. Motoya was just being nice, he knew it, but at that moment, he wanted to be alone.

“Nothing!? What do you mean by ‘nothing’!? You basically run out of the train two stations before ours and that’s ‘nothing’!?”

“Stop it! I want a moment of peace just that, do you want to calm down?” What the hell with his day? First, his parents and college, then Miya and his date and now Komori and his own drama too? Fuck it.

“I ‘am not being dramatic Kiyoomi! Isn’t weird leave the train like that? Since when haven’t you done that?”

“I am telling you I am okay, Komori” 

“And I am telling you I don’t believe any of that, Kiyoomi”

There was tension between them. Sakusa didn't want any more unnecessary scenes made by unnecessarily dramatic boys for everything and nothing. Komori wasn't going to give up easily and Kiyoomi didn't want to give his arm twisted either. They looked at each other for quite some time until Sakusa gave up. What difference did it make?   
They called their parents to let them know that they would be late. Sakusa was not willing to enter a fast food place, much less another crowded shopping mall; they decided to go to a cafe in the area. He wanted to go home but if his parents saw him on the verge of collapse, they would be worried. He preferred to listen to his cousin's advices.

“You are jealous”

Or jokes.

“I’m not”

“Weren’t you the one who said no to his invitation?”

“Yes, bu- “

“And you were the one that go on a date with him would be a waste of time.”

“YES BU- “

“And now you are complaining…”

“YES, I KNOW”

“Wanna know a secret?” He Approached him “I don’t fucking understand you”

How he wished he hadn't given in to go into that stupid cafe with him.

“Call him”

“No”

“Please, you like him! Why not date him? Your mother would be happy if you finally got a partner”

“I can’t”

“And the problem is…?”

It hadn't been long since he had realized that, the supposed friendship he had with Miya had turned to something else - at least from his side - and yes, he just admitted it after one month, but the problem for him was obvious and somewhat embarrassing...

“I…haven’t dated anyone in my life” He blushed. It was silly! he knew it! but the subject was serious for Sakusa.

Miya never showed a girlfriend in public but he always had dates with a few girls of his school and Sakusa had heard that he did have one a year ago. He has a fans club and girls where a big part of the public in their matches. He was popular. The girls even came to the dressing rooms to give him gifts or directly, confess their love. After Sakusa’s tragedy in the amusement park, popularity among girls was zero. Volleyball helped him to clear his reputation; so, when he became a high school student, his dilemma got a little solved. Girls confessed to him a few times but he never returned their feelings. Just in one occasion he said yes. They tried to date for two months, where they barely talk and never kiss or hold hands. She broke up with him. He didn’t feel bad.  
If you put things on a scale, Atsumu has the upper hand on this. He didn't want to bore the only person, other than Wakatoshi and his cousin, who had called him 'friend' or worse, lose his new friend. Sakusa knew he was thinking about things a lot and was acting immature, but he didn't want to drag someone into his monotonous days. Now, the Kita thing was going around his mind: They did look comfortable around each other. He even had his arm around Atsumu’s shoulders, that means, they were close enough to go out alone and have a little physical contact with each other. Maybe all this time he was playing around with him? Not even Miya would do that.

“You are going to date him, not marry him. Chill.”

Elementary school kids could make better excuses but if it was true that he was afraid of boring him, although many times he wished that Miya would simply disappear from the face of the earth and leave him alone for a while.

“Kiyoomi”

What if he just quit before it started? It could save a him a lot of trouble; like Atsumu critiquing his cleaning routine.

“Wake up Kiyoomi” 

If Atsumu became Kita’s boyfriend, they could have a normal relationship; they even live in the same prefecture and attend the same school.

“I don’t want to be a nuisance to him, ok?”

But the truth was, he was simply afraid and making excuses was all his mind was thinking about. He didn't want to risk and lose; it wasn't his style. If tomorrow their paths separated, it was better to leave everything as it was. If he devoted himself to school and volleyball, Atsumu would stay where he should be from the beginning: as a friend and nothing more. He was a hopeless coward. 

“Why would you?”

Commitment was not his thing or having many people to think about. 

“Atsumu is going to do great with or without me. Telling him would not change much, right? “

Even if he was a one percent sure he would make a move, ninety-nine percent doubts would hold him back.  
And that was enough for him to make a decision.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

The cold breeze crashed against his face. The leaves of the trees were changing color as the days passed by: autumn was coming to the city. He walked slowly, there was nothing to do and no one to rush him. He missed that feeling of freedom that he hadn't felt for a long time and the city's climate helped him a lot. He had been thinking for a while about the offers he had on his hands: The teams that looked for him were good; Anyone within the V league was a good option but of course, some brought more advantages than others. He could sign for a team whose training headquarters were in a city less crowded or a city whose humidity in the environment was not high. He could sign for the Adler’s and play alongside Wakatoshi or better; sign for the Raijin and have the chance to play against him. He still had time to think: he had been given until mid-September to think about his answer even though he already knew where he wanted to be recruited.   
It was 15 minutes by train from his parents’ house to visit them- less travel time than he had to take from his university to home for so many years- They offered him a bedroom with what he needed to live and enjoy his independence; the pay was high and the team was made up of talented and strong people.  
Yes. The MSBY was the best option for Sakusa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the episode ended up being longer than planned. I didn't want to add some Akaashi and Bokuto just yet but I couldn't bear it. My headcanon is that they definitely started dating in high school.  
> I also wanted to write a more "adolescent" Kiyoomi doing things like overthink everything when it comes to his crush.  
> Well, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!   
> Next one is the last one with a little change :D!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you had fun reading. I really needed to took this idea out of my head. It was supposed to be a 1 chapter thing but i thought that It would turn boring. So I guess in three chapters it should be done.
> 
> I really love this couple, like, in a weird way they suit each other perfectly!  
> I tried to write atsumu's accent but is a little hard xd, im going to improve it, I promise.  
> I'm not going to write an essay here so, comment, suggestions (?) are aprreciated. See ya soon!


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